Is this an exam or…

So today I discovered that my English exam next term is to write a blog post.

WHAT?

I know, this should be a simple task for me as I write multiple blogs every week (OK, maybe not every week but I do my best). However, I am finding that this clash of hobby and examination has left me quite unnerved.

It has also made it increasingly difficult to hide the fact I do have a blog.

‘Does anyone in here have a blog?’ the teacher asked only to be replied with the blank faces of my class mates.

‘Pfft, who has a blog nowdays?’ asked the girl sitting next to me, her answer from me being a nervous laugh and a change of subject.

I also began to sweat what can only be descried as an unnatural and cascading amount as the teacher began searching for blogs written by teenagers, I mean, I know she’d have to scroll pretty far down to find this blog but boy was that the most stressful half hour I’ve ever spend to google. 

I was also vaguely shocked by all the language features that are apparently squeezed into every blog post. Is it just me that simply writes what comes to their head? Is this an absolutely awful blog? Actually… don’t answer that…

Anyway, I have now wasted half an hour of the time I was meant to be using writing practice blog posts.

Oh the irony.

 

 

 

 

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The Firework Code

Remember remember the 5th of November… does anyone actually know the rest of that?

Anyway, tonight is firework night and I am going to the display in my local park. I have never been to this because I can watch them for free from my front window but I always go back to school to hear horror stories of the burns and explosions that occurred the night before. This got me thinking, would I actually know what to do in a firework related emergency? The answer to this is no, I would simply stand there and panic.

Therefore, I have decided to bring you the firework code

  •  Keep fireworks in a closed box
  •  Follow the instructions on each firework
  •  Light all fireworks at arms length
  •  Stand well back
  •  Never go back to a lit firework
  •  Never put fireworks in your pocket
  •  Never throw fireworks
  •  Keep Pets indoors
  •  Always supervise children with sparklers.
  • Teach them to hold the sparkler at arms length, but not near anyone else
  • Sparklers are not for the under 5’s
  •  Have a container of water handy, big enough for the sparkler. Dump the sparkler in it as soon as it goes out.

I also looked up how to deal with a burn. You should run it under cold water for at least 10 minutes then wrap it in cling film (saran wrap) to prevent scarring. If you think the burn looks serious, call the emergency services.

I hope this was vaguely helpful and understandable.

Anyway, weather you’re going to a big display, having your own fireworks or simply watching the pretty lights from the comfort of your own home, have fun and stay safe!

(Why is Google’s homepage themed around ‘Raymond Loewy’s 120th birthday’ and not firework night?)

Technology breakdown

Yesterday, something terrible happened. The wifi broke and my phone died. I know, I’m not sure how I survived either.
It all started when I got home from school. I got my phone out, opened twitter but no feeds where coming through. I then turned the computer on to do my homework but google, it wasn’t responding. Despite this giving me a great excuse not to do my homework, I was beginning to become stressed. I turned the wifi on and off but still there was no connection. I began to become frantic, switching random buttons on the wifi box and refreshing google. Nothing worked.
My mum later returned from work and found me shaking in a ball on the living room floor. She then pointed out that my phone screen had gone purple. These were the worst words I had ever heard in my life.