First off, I’d like to apologize for being a bit illusive recently but back to school and homework and everything all got on top of me and blah blah blah.
But, as I’m sure you’re very excited about, I’m back!
Anyway, this may seem horrifically cliched, but I had a number of near death experiences today and only when I got home did I realize it was Friday 13th. Now I’m not a superstitious person at all, I don’t believe in ghosts or crop circles or anything weird like that but these experiences have made me slightly unsure;
- I got up this morning at the usual time of 6.45 (yawn) and, just like everyday, got in the shower. Of course I was half asleep because, well, it was 7 in the morning. Anyway, as I reached for the shampoo the bath seemed to suddenly fling itself from underneath me and the next thing I knew I was laying face down in the bath exclaiming ‘oh no’ in much more… colorful language. My legs where shaking uncontrollably and as I tried to stand up just buckled underneath me. I sat in the bath for about 5 minuets, when my legs finally stopped shaking and I got up, only to find my head was bleeding.
- I finally managed to wash my hair and got out the shower, reasonably shaken up, so decided to turn my radio on to cheer myself up. Just as Nick Grimshaw’s voice began blaring through the speakers, a weird alien like noise started radiating out into my room. I turned back to the radio and reached to fiddle with the dials when BOOM (dramatic I know) about a dozen yellow sparks flew from the speakers and landed on my carpet, thankfully not setting it on fire. This, well, terrified me so I unplugged the radio and pretty much threw it out my bedroom door.
- I managed to get to school without getting hit by a car so was beginning to think my luck was changing. I was wrong. Biology was my first lesson and we where doing a practical. Me and my lab partner Jamie got everything set up and the only thing left to do was light the Bunsen burner. Jamie got a match and as I turned on the gas everything seemed normal until suddenly it was completely consumed in flames. I am not even joking, the thing spontaneously combusted or something because a huge blue flame was licking at the pipe and a bright orange fire was making its way down the table, dangerously close to the gas tap. ‘SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIR’ we yelled simultaneously, not only attracting his attention, but the entire classes who all began screaming hysterically. The teacher. thankfully, came running over and turned off the gas tap which for some reason extinguished the entire fire. I’m genuinely suprised I’m still here to write this blog.
- After that, quite frankly terrifying experience I had art, my favorite lesson. I was glad as I thought it might calm me down and get my heart rate back to a normal pace but no, some idiot had to got and leave their oil paint on my chair which of course I sat down in and got it all over my skirt. (OK, I know this isn’t a near death experience but I think I have the right to put it in)
- As I was walking home with a paint stained skirt and a disturbed look in my eyes, I was thinking that this day could not get any worse. Just as I was thinking this, my foot plunged into a deep puddle of what appeared to be some sort of quick sand. As I frantically tried to wrench my foot free I pulled slightly to hard and shot backwards into another, smaller puddle to the great amusement of a large group of year 11’s. I was so close to tears I am surprised I managed to hold myself together. I honestly thought I had cracked some bone in my back it hurt so bad.
I then got home to be informed by an irritatingly cheery mother in an equally irritatingly sarcastic way that ‘it’s Friday the 13th, I hope where careful’. I then stalked off to my room only to remember that my radio was broken.
Anyway, that was my Friday 13th, and I promise you all these events are 100% accurate. I’m not joking.