In all honesty, school is a pretty horrible place and the quicker I can leave, the better.
However, one of the only good things about school is the snapshots of conversations you hear by just standing and listening for five minutes.
Since I am such a kind hearted (and list loving) soul, I have devised a list of some of the strangest and down right stupid things I heard at school this week. Yes, just this week.
- ‘I’ve lost so much weight I’ve dropped three shoe sizes!’
- ‘Imagine being the first person to be pregnant, like, that must have been well weird’
- ‘If I bring the lube all you need to bring are your fingers’ (Really guys, in a school corridor?)
- ‘Come on, how dumb do you think I am, I know platypuses are made up’
- ‘You’ll never guess what I found out in Biology?’ ‘What?’ ‘Condoms have expiry dates’ ‘F*ck.’
- ‘Does this perfume smell of wee to you?’
- ‘I’m not sure about this nail varnish, does it look like I shat on my fingernails to you too?’
- ‘Is it just me who thought rats where grown up mice until like an hour ago?’
- ‘Sometimes I like to think about shirtless monsters’
- ‘Are homo-sapiens extinct because they where gay or is that just a coincidence?’
- ‘So miss, are bacteria always single celled orgasms?’ ‘I think you mean organisms honey’
- ‘Does anyone else find it proper weird that our bones are made of milk?’
- ‘Sir, how did the American Indians get from India to America in the first place cause like, you can’t make a plane out of a buffalo’
- ‘Did you know, you can get pregnant from swallowing an egg and a sperm?’
- ‘How come, when you have a period, the egg doesn’t come out, like, where does it go?’
- ‘Do you ever just think ‘Oh my God, I have a skeleton inside me!”
- ‘He told me I smell like a colon, do I smell like a colon to you?’
- ‘Why are women expected to breast feed when men have nipples too?’
- ‘Man I wish I was a girl, I’d just cup my boobs all day’
- How old where you when you lost your virginity?’ ‘Which time?’
I know people say school days are the best of your life, but I honestly find that impossible to believe, and if you think otherwise, just take another look over that list.
Anyway, if you are still lucky enough to have the joys of attending school, take just five minutes out of your Monday morning to stand and listen to the snippets of passing conversations, you will be astounded by what you discover.
Thanks for reading!